Disturbingly cool.

My profile:

You have always been on the move seeking affectionate, satisfying and harmonious relationships. Your ultimate goal has been the realisation of an intimate union in which there could be love, self-sacrifice and mutual trust. It has often been said that 'True love is just around the corner' and - if you haven't found it as yet - you possibly soon will.

You are looking for something different. Your imagination has been working overtime and you are seeking adventure - and you'd like to share that adventure, the new experience, with someone like yourself: Imaginative, Enthusiastic and Sensitive.

All the problems that you have been experiencing of late seem to have become a part of your life and there is little that can be done to change the situation. Your emotions run high - but even though you feel as if at times you are about to burst this situation will pass. Try to release your pent-up emotions by participating in some extra physical activities like running, swimming, whatever. There must be some favourite pastime, not necessarily strenuous, that can help you to relax.

It is said that we are all influenced by our environment and indeed you are no exception. It would seem at this time that even though you may be surrounded by people, you are experiencing an inner loneliness. Fortunately you are sufficiently strong minded to realise that life has a great deal to offer you and that you may miss your share of experiences if you fail to make the best use of every opportunity. You therefore pursue your objectives with a fierce intensity and are prepared to commit yourself deeply and readily. You believe that whatever you would like to do or think 'you can do' - you do! It is because of this attitude that you may be considered by others as arrogant and even conceited, but its fair to say that whatever it is that you really want out of life you will put your heart and soul into it and will not take 'NO' for an answer.

You have so many ideas that you would like to revitalise but you need to realise a stable and peaceful condition to do so. Once you can free yourself from all the aggravation and tension around you, you will make strides that may amaze you. You will not be prevented from achieving all the things you so desire.

I hate it when these things seem accurate.

It's occurred to me that most of the people I know won't read this - well, a lot of them won't even be told directly, I'll just see who gradually notices. I took off the comment system that was briefly here - I'll probably put it back up at some point, but today the comment server was going down intermittently while I was trying to set things up and wanted to be able to load the page at will, so it's off.

I'm not complaining that I won't get read, I'm just choosing to assume I won't because that makes it easier to write something here that means something. Contrary to how most people who know me in real life see me, I'm really quite intensely shy.

Most people laugh when I say that. A couple of years ago people would have reacted with "I know", except I wasn't inclined to tell people who didn't know me that well something that personal, and with people who did know me well, I wasn't shy. But it's easy for me to talk to people these days, and easy for me to convince myself I'm adequately socially adept (although sometimes I have misgivings). It's less easy for me to tell people anything about myself that matters. Most of my current social circle have known me for a couple of years, but most of them also hardly know me at all.

But maybe I like it better that way. Except when I'm surrounded by people yet experiencing an inner loneliness, and end up going for a walk to lacerate my knuckles deliberately halfway through a party I'm enjoying - when I haven't done something that stupid in at least a year and a half.

Ah, me. But at least the party was fun.